Episode 21: David Warren

David Warren: And they're like, well, do you want to see some gators? I'm like, yeah, let's go. So, you know, sure enough, she's like, here gator, gator, here gator, gator. And things mouth opens up like a freaking Jaws at that point.

Josh Caldwell: Atypical daydreamers, welcome to the show. My guest today is my old friend, David Warren. He's been many things, but most recently, he's a location manager and scout for film, TV, and everything in between. Dave's journey through life is a great example of following what works, but the results can lead you through some wild and lively experiences.

David Warren: The common thread for me for my life has been I've always kind of been good at just getting out and about and talking to people and connecting people. I've had to reinvent myself multiple times in my life as I think most of us have. I grew up in a family that took road trips.

In the seventies, it was just a very short trip to New Braunfels. But then in the eighties, it was Colorado every summer and my parents would drive. There was one day that will live in infamy for my dad. We went from Gallup, New Mexico to Kingman, Arizona. And if you hear what my mom made us do that day, now you kind of understand my life a little bit. That day we went to the Grand Canyon, the Petrified Forest, the Meteor Crater, and the Painted Desert. Four things in Northern Arizona in one day. And it was literally within a year of when National Lampoon's Vacation came out.

We pretty much did the Grand Canyon the same way. We didn't have a dead granny on the roof or a dead dog. But the dead person was basically my dad because when we got to the hotel, he had to drive the whole way and all he did was collapse on the bed. My mom always had this, we gotta do it all, we gotta do it all. That was really kind of how I was introduced to traveling.

I started doing it on my own when I was in high school. I didn't really learn the art of preparation until I had more adulting practice. I think about driving out to Big Bend National Park and getting a flat tire in the middle of the night and not even having a flashlight. I didn't think about it. The day I graduated from college,

David Warren: I got in the car with my then girlfriend and we drove straight from Austin to Los Angeles. We were going to stay with this friend of mine who lived in the valley. We just showed up at his apartment. I didn't communicate with him like, hey, are you going to be home? We couldn't figure it out, so I just broke into his apartment. I found a window in an alley and I was like, okay, well, I guess that's okay. We didn't have a plan. We didn't have sleeping bags, didn't have anything. We're just gonna sleep on the floor of his skater apartment.

Fast forward a little bit. I live in Atlanta now. I had essentially a corporate job for a while. It was a good job. I worked at Cartoon Network and we made TV stuff. But ever since I've been gone from there, I went into real estate and it was a totally different world. Real estate is really a business where you're out on the streets hustling for money. You're dialing for dollars, knocking on doors, and you kind of never know what's going to be on the other side of it. I was young and fearless and I didn't worry about it. I was a little impatient and impetuous. I didn't want to wait around and have a detailed plan. I just wanted to go.

In locations, it's been interesting because there's been cases. There was one where we needed a farm. There was this woman I met at this goat farm. I didn't know it at the time, but she was really struggling. And we brought her a TV show. It literally changed her life. She was able to use that money to help buy an adjacent parcel of land and all this stuff. Scouting in the city and urban areas is fine and good, but when you get out of the city, it gets kind of interesting.

We sort of made our bones on what I called the murder and mayhem shows. First one was this one called Swamp Murders. And I'm like, okay, so I guess we need a swamp, huh?

David Warren: Georgia doesn't have the most swamps, but it's got some. The best one is down near the Florida border, the Okefenokee Swamp. That was just like Gator Central. The problem is it's really hard to shoot in the actual swamp because it's a wildlife refuge, which is a step above protection over like a national park. It's not really for anything but science basically. But next to it, they have the Disney version called the Okefenokee Swamp Park.

And they're like, well, do you want to see some gators? I'm like, yeah, let's go. Okay, well, here's what's going to happen. We're going to get on the back of this golf cart and I'm going to start tapping this stick and I'm going to yell here, gator, gator. But you need to tell me when it gets close, because then I got to hit it so he doesn't catch up to you. This is the plan. So sure enough, she's like, here gator, gator, here gator, gator. And that thing's mouth opens up like a freaking Jaws at that point. I don't know what's considered close. I think that's close enough. I got the shot. Let's go.

So that was more of our B-roll, beauty shots of gator jaws and stuff. But we had another swamp, in the southern part of the state, the eastern part, called the Finnessy Swamp. That one they were like, whatever, you can do whatever you want. Because it was all simulated drowning scenes and all this stuff. Well, first of all, the day we tech scouted it, before you shoot, you take your key crew people out and they need to see what's what and how they're gonna do it. There were basically copperhead snakes, which are very poisonous, everywhere we were gonna be working. One of the main lighting guys, our gaffer, was like, are we getting a medic on this shoot? And the line producer's like, let me check the budget and see. There were copperheads everywhere.

David Warren: We're gonna have people all in the water, all in everything. People were really starting to freak out. That went okay until they had an episode where they had to do this thing with a body and they couldn't do it with a real stunt person. The stunt people just couldn't handle being the fake drowning in the water. So they had almost like a crash test dummy.

The scene was that it was a body getting thrown off a bridge. They found a bridge, found a place, no problem. The problem that was not really thought through by the art department is how are we going to retrieve said body once we throw it off the bridge? We got the shot. But then it's like, well, they had no mechanism to get it back. So they just left it.

This place also happens to be where they do kids field trips during the week. So meemaw's kindergarten class is out there and the kids are seeing a body. It's all over the news in Augusta, Georgia, that a body has been discovered at the Finnessy Swamp. And then finally, the inevitable blowback. Well, actually, they're filming a television show out here called Swamp Murders. I think most people thought it was absolutely hilarious and it was. Yeah, life of the film crew.

Josh Caldwell: Hey, Josh here. I love making this podcast and I'd love to make it my full-time gig. Besides telling the stories, I'm basically a one-man band and that takes time. If you're enjoying the podcast, please consider becoming a patron. You'll have access to loads of great bonus stories and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you're supporting a truly independent podcast. Find the Patreon link in the show notes. And thanks.

David Warren: The location stuff, when you kind of get out of the normal world and you're dealing with people you maybe don't normally deal with, is kind of the most interesting. Because it's people that haven't had six Marvel movies there. So what you're bringing to them seems kind of novel and insane. And they're like, okay, I guess.

I had a very unique project. Sometimes I get sent to do these brand activation things where it's sort of like for people that have been to South by Southwest, a brand says we're going to disrupt camping and we're going to have our new electro camper with a bidet in the middle of 6th Street and it's going to change everything. This was sort of that, but instead it was a tax-free tampon store. The building was this mid-century model with a giant applicator on the roof, so you know it's a tampon.

The whole purpose was this company called Seventh Generation. They were trying to get attention to show the fact that in some states, certain necessary medical devices for women are taxed with sales tax as opposed to being tax free. It ends up that in Florida tampons are not taxed, but in Georgia they are. So the state line of Georgia and Florida is a perfect opportunity for a tax-free tampon store. And the trick is I've got to find a piece of dirt on the Florida side.

David Warren: Sort of like the same thing when you see, hey, get your fireworks here across the state line, because you can't buy them there. But here it's tampons. I needed a spot in Florida right on the state line, on a major road. So there's only so many spots in and out of the state from Georgia to Florida that might work. So basically I was doing what you call South Georgia, North Florida, which is basically just Redneck Central. It's like a Lynyrd Skynyrd song there. The babies come out of the womb with mullets on their heads.

Part of my job is I am a chameleon and I've got to be able to blend in and talk to anybody. I did a circle on the maps and figured out, okay, these are my target areas. I was looking for properties where I might be able to stick this temporary building, get a lot of visibility, and be close to a high traffic road like an interstate. First of all, try being the guy going in and telling the person you want to put a giant tampon on their property. Of course, when you tell them you're going to write them a check, they're like, okay, fine.

I went all kinds of places, motels, liquor stores, fireworks places. To explain it to them, I'd have to show them this model of building. There's certain businesses you go in where you got to be careful. Those people have seen it all. And this one was just a liquor store. So there's this woman sitting behind the counter. I swear to God, she's got her Saturday night special 357 magnum just sitting on the counter, pointed at me. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna take this real slow with her. And I start explaining to her who I am, what I'm doing.

David Warren: And she just gets a total kick out of it. I hand her my business card, tell her I want to circle back because it's actually a really good site. Well, on the back she's like, okay, I'm writing down tampon man here. When you call me back, just say it's the tampon man. That way I'm going to know exactly who it is. I was like, okay. I mean, I've been called worse. So yeah, tampon man it is. For those few days, I was the tampon man.

It's sort of emblematic of the stuff I've had to do, being anything and everything to talk to people. It's not the first time I've seen someone brandishing a firearm either. We needed a junkyard for that same murder and mayhem show, Swamp Murders. And that guy made a big show of showing me his pistol because he wanted me to know who was in charge.

But the very first movie I ever did, the whole title was The Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife. And of course I needed a trailer park. I somehow convinced the guy to give it to us for free. But free is relative because we had no control over anything. The people lived there. They didn't have any agency, any money, or any say in any of this, but we were there. And there were a lot of little kids that lived there. The kids were out playing soccer and they had their dog and the dog kept getting in the shot. The first AD is like, hey, locations, get this dog out of the shot. So what I would do is go play soccer with the kids and try to get the ball going away from where the shot is and get the dog to chase it. Well, finally I kicked too much, I pissed the dog off, and the dog bit me. Freaking trailer park dog with no tags or anything like that.

David Warren: But that wasn't what sent me to the hospital on that movie. When you're working on a show like that, you usually have a radio and I had an earpiece in. Well, I have very small ears. My wife says that's why I'm a terrible listener. I got the earpiece stuck way in my ear canal and I couldn't pull it out.

I waved off the dog bite, but that earpiece was really freaking me out. So first I went to the makeup artist. I said, hey, get your tweezers and try to pull this thing out. Instead she jammed the thing further in there. So finally I just told the producer, look, I gotta go. I can't take it. I was willing to go with the dog bite, but this thing with my ear is freaking me out.

So I went to the doc in a box and the guy puts his forceps, I swear to God, it was like delivering a child up in my ear. He pulls the forceps halfway up my ear and it's like, I am never wearing another earpiece again in my life. I don't care how much I get yelled at for having a live radio. I don't care, I'm not doing it.

Josh Caldwell: I want to thank Dave for sharing his experience. If you're in need of entertainment location services, check out Dave's Atlanta-based companies, ATL Locations and Pellicular Properties. This podcast was created and produced by me, Josh Caldwell. Music by Visual Aid, my side music project. General support and copywriting by Miranda Caldwell. If you like the show, please follow, subscribe, rate, and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you'd like to financially support the show, check out my Patreon page. You'll have access to loads of great bonus stories. You can find the link in the show notes. Thank you for listening, and I hope you come back next week.