Episode 23: Valerie Warren

Valerie Warren: I think I freaked out for a minute or two, probably hyperventilated. And then I realized I had to just calm down and get my shit together and figure it out because I had nobody but myself to depend on to solve this problem.

Josh Caldwell: Atypical daydreamers, welcome to the show. My guest today is Valerie Warren. She's a lover of all things China, or Sinophile. I had to look that one up. Once upon a time, she lived in Taiwan to learn Mandarin Chinese. And on one of her weekend excursions to Thailand, she found out just how tough Murphy's Law can be.

Valerie Warren: I had gotten my bachelor's degree in East Asian studies, specifically Chinese studies. So after I graduated, I bought a one-way ticket to Taipei to further my studies in Mandarin Chinese at the Mandarin Training Center at National Taiwan Normal University in Taipei. It's considered the most respected place to study Mandarin if you're a foreigner. So every six months as a student in Taiwan, you still have to take a visa trip. You have to leave Taiwan. Sometimes you go to Hong Kong. A lot of people would go to Vietnam or the Philippines, but most of us would go to Thailand. It was the cheapest flight you could get, but also go somewhere fun and interesting.

So you could fly from Taipei to Bangkok, go to the beach, while you dropped your passport off at, I want to say the Taiwan embassy, but it was actually called the Taiwan Economic and Cultural Affairs Office because technically they're not allowed to be called an embassy because of China. But I'm still going to call it a Taiwan embassy just so it's easier. This was my second visa run from Taipei to Bangkok. I booked a ticket so that I arrived in Bangkok on a Tuesday and I was flying out on Sunday. On Wednesday, I took my passport to the Taiwan embassy to drop it off. It takes them about 48 hours to process a visa, so knowing that by dropping it off on Wednesday, I'd be able to pick it up on Friday.

The problem is, on the way from the Taiwan embassy back to Khao San Road, which is sort of a backpacker hostel area in Bangkok, I was in a taxi and getting out of the taxi, paying for it, I had a small purse with me and in it was all my money, my return plane ticket. This was back in 1993. So everything was paper plane tickets. All of that was in this small purse and I had set it down in the seat beside me.

Valerie Warren: I was in the backseat, I took out the money, was talking to the guy, paying him, and I got out of the cab, closed the door, and right as I closed the door, I realized that I had left the purse with all the money and with my plane ticket in the cab. And then it's pulling away. So I'm running and yelling and waving, hoping that maybe he'll look in his rearview mirror and notice me yelling and waving to stop. Obviously that didn't happen. So I watched him drive away knowing, I mean all my money, all my cash. There were no credit cards. Nobody dealt in credit cards back then. And that return plane ticket. The only upside was that my passport wasn't in there as well, because I'd already dropped it off at the Taiwan embassy.

Valerie Warren: I do remember standing there watching him drive away and how stunned I was. Realizing that as someone traveling alone, it was just a visa run trip, but I wasn't leaving till Sunday. So I had no friends. Unlike my first visa run trip where I ran into a college friend in the airport and wound up traveling with her and hanging out with all these other people that I could have borrowed money from, that wasn't the case in this situation.

So what do I do? I think I freaked out for a minute or two, probably hyperventilated. And then I realized I had to just calm down and get my shit together and figure it out because I had nobody but myself to depend on to solve this problem. So I went to the local neighborhood police station and it took a while, not too long, to work my way to somebody in there who could speak enough English. I don't speak Thai. I speak Mandarin Chinese. To explain to him as simply as possible what had happened. Obviously there isn't really a lot they can do. I mean, I can't tell them any real details about the taxi that I was in. And it's a city of millions and millions of people and it's just super unfortunate. But yeah, there was nothing they could do.

Basically the idea was, well, I guess you go to your embassy. So I'm like, yeah, okay. They were nice enough at the police station to give me enough money to pay for a cab ride from where I was to the embassy. So I took a cab there. There are guards out front. I talk to them because I don't have an appointment. I have no real reason to be there other than this, my personal crisis, my personal emergency. So I talked to the guards and tell them and they're like, okay, well, we can get you on the phone. There's a phone in their guard station that goes to the embassy inside where you can talk to a consular officer.

Valerie Warren: So they let me go in there and sit on that phone. And I will never forget this. The guy says, well, you sound like an American, but you could be Canadian. And he says that to me because I don't have a passport. My first thought was, if I were a Canadian, I'd be at the Canadian embassy, you dumb ass. Because they're probably a lot nicer at the Canadian embassy than the American embassy, which I'm sure is true.

So he tells me he can't let me inside the embassy to make a phone call to my family to have them wire me money in this emergency without my passport. The only bit of good luck is that the Taiwan embassy is on the same major road as the US embassy. It's like an embassy row in downtown Bangkok. I have to walk there, of course. But by then I was crying because I was really upset. I had to get my passport from the Taiwan embassy to take it to the US embassy so I could get in to make that phone call.

I told the whole story to the secretary at the Taiwan embassy. I'm crying while I'm telling her the story. And she was very kind. She was handing me tissues and saying in Chinese, don't cry, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. She had to go back and talk to her people and pull my passport out of their processing office and hand it back to me. And obviously she told me, you have to get this back to us soon, as soon as possible, so that we can still process it before the end of the day on Friday, knowing that I was leaving Sunday.

Valerie Warren: So I took my passport, walked back to the US Embassy, showed them my passport, showed them I was not Canadian. They allowed me a phone call. It had to be a collect call to my parents in the United States. At the time it was the middle of the day in Bangkok, and it's about a 12-hour difference. So it was about three or four in the morning in the United States. I called my parents. Fortunately, they answered. I had to explain to them as quickly and succinctly as possible what had happened. And of course they're only half awake. I had to tell them about the money and the passport and back and forth. So then my dad says, oh, don't worry, we'll send you the money. How much do you need? I said $300 US, knowing that would more than cover it for these few days. And don't worry, we'll send it to you. As soon as we get up in the morning at seven or eight, we'll call Western Union, because they're 24 hours.

So I said to them, no, I need you the minute you get off the phone with me to wake up, get on the phone, and make sure this money is wired to me immediately because Western Union is not open 24 hours. It's going to close in a couple of hours here in Bangkok. They're like, well, that doesn't make any... I'm like, oh my God, don't argue with me. I'm like, no one gives a shit that it's 24 hours. We are not in the US. We're in a different country. And they're like, okay, okay, we'll do it. And I hang up with them. And then I leave.

I have to walk from the US embassy to a shopping mall that has a Western Union. It's not even an office. It's somewhere inside this really big shopping mall about a mile and a half away. So it takes me about 45 minutes to walk there, knowing that I'm under this time constraint, knowing that I'm probably not gonna get back to the Taiwan embassy before they close. But I'm like, fuck it, that's the least of my problems.

Valerie Warren: I get there and I'm asking, where is the Western Union? And I'm told it's upstairs. I go upstairs, no sign, nothing at all. I'm just in some shopping mall on the second floor where there's women's and kids clothes or something. So I go to a counter, what looks like a cash register checkout counter in the clothing area. And I ask them and they're like, yeah, we're Western Union. I'm like, really? Where's your sign? And they're like, there's no sign.

Good news, that $300 US, which is a lot of money when you convert it to Thai baht, they actually give you all of that money in the local currency. I was like, okay, holy shit, I got money now. I'm so happy. So that day is done. There's no time to go back to the Taiwan embassy. So I have to go back there the following morning, which is Thursday. They took the passport and said they would get it processed quickly and I could pick it up the following day. Super nice, great people.

Then I had to find Delta's office in the city to have my paper plane ticket replaced. So that cost some money that I wasn't really thinking of or expecting, but I still had plenty of money to pay for my hostel for the rest of my trip, to pay for food, et cetera. So I did all those things and I even went ahead and bought a shuttle bus ticket from Khao San Road to the airport for Sunday morning. I had a very early morning flight. It was a 9 a.m. flight. So I bought a 6 a.m. shuttle so I would get there at about 6:30, knowing it's an international flight and you have to get there really early.

Valerie Warren: I went to sleep Saturday night knowing I had to get up really early to catch the 6 a.m. shuttle. And basically all the money that I had left was for the airport tax that you have to pay when you're leaving. I had already paid for everything else and I didn't want to have a lot of Thai baht left so I kind of spent it up so to speak. So I set my alarm and go to sleep.

I wake up and I look at my little digital clock that I brought with me and it's 8:30 in the morning. And I remember looking at it like, that can't be right. There's no way that can be right.

Josh Caldwell: Hey, Josh here. I love making this podcast and I'd love to make it my full-time gig. Besides telling the stories, I'm basically a one-man band and that takes time. If you're enjoying the podcast, please consider becoming a patron. You'll have access to loads of great bonus stories and you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you're supporting a truly independent podcast. Find the Patreon link in the show notes. And thanks.

Valerie Warren: So I knew I had missed my flight. But I also knew the only money that I had and the only thing I had in my purse was that money for the airport tax and that shuttle bus ticket. So knowing I was totally screwed, I went to the shuttle bus area where they pick you up. They wouldn't take my ticket because it was for a different time. So I was there begging other foreigners, other backpackers for a little bit of cash so that I could pay. And there were two people who were going to take a taxi and they were like, well, the three of us could split it, but I didn't even have money. Somehow I got some money from these other travelers. A few of them took pity on me. Some of them were jerks. Some were like, yeah, it's your own problem. Others gave me some money. And so the three of us went in a taxi to the airport.

So I go to the Delta counter and it's now after 9 a.m. It's dark, there's no lights on, there's nobody there. So I start asking various people at the airport and they're like, yeah, they had a flight this morning but no one's there now. They're like, you probably need to go to their office inside the airport, but that office is sort of in the bowels, in the basement. So someone takes me down there and there's a woman in just a very small office in the basement of the airport. And I show her my ticket and she's like, okay. And she looks at it, she's like, let me check. She's typing on her computer for when the next flight is. And she's like, yeah, the next flight's Tuesday.

Valerie Warren: I remember taking what change I had out of my pocket into my hands and saying, it was like $2 maybe US, the equivalent thereof. I said, I don't even have enough money to eat a meal in this airport. I have no money to get back to Bangkok to stay there for the next day or two so that I can come back here. I have no money to do that either.

So basically I told her I would have to sleep on the floor of this airport for the next two nights, begging people in the airport for money so that I could eat. And she just looked at me. Because I didn't say it that calmly. I actually leaned over and kind of got into her face and said all of that in a very distressed and probably somewhat scary and intimidating voice and manner enough that it kind of scared the crap out of her, I guess. And she just stared at me and she said, well, I'll be back.

I thought, I'm not leaving this room until I get something sorted out. I stand there waiting. I don't know how much time goes by, maybe 10 or 15 minutes. And then she comes back and she says, okay, you're going to get on a flight today. And I'm like, I am? Really? She said, yeah, you're going to go on EVA Evergreen Airlines, which is a Taiwan airline, a very nice, good airline. She's like, we're gonna get you home. So she handed me this ticket and she's like, don't lose it. Don't miss this flight. I was like, oh my God, thank you. I swear I could have jumped over the counter and hugged her, but she was probably kind of scared of me by then, seriously.

So I go to the gate. I'm exhausted. I look like shit and I'm a student. So I don't look like all these nice people who are sitting there waiting to get on this flight. But I do get on the flight and I'm looking at the ticket, I'm looking at my seat number. As I board, usually when you board, you go to the left, you're going to the back. And in this one, according to my seat number, I go to the right, or the front of the airplane. I think that's strange. Turns out I'm flying first class. That was the only time I've ever flown first class. So yeah, I got a first class ticket. Again, I don't look good. I probably don't even smell good. And they're offering me champagne. And I'm kind of like, is it free? Truly having no clue what flying first class means.

Valerie Warren: And the guy sitting next to me says, everything's free, you're in first class. I'm like, oh, well, it was kind of a fluke that I wound up here in first class. But yes, I guess I should enjoy it.

Josh Caldwell: I want to thank Valerie for sharing her experience. If you're in need of entertainment location services, check out Valerie's Atlanta-based companies, ATL Locations and Pellicular Properties. This podcast was created and produced by me, Josh Caldwell. Music by Visual Aid, my side music project. General support and copywriting by Miranda Caldwell. If you like the show, please follow, subscribe, rate, and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you'd like to financially support the show, check out my Patreon page. You'll have access to loads of great bonus stories. You can find the link in the show notes. Thank you for listening, and I hope you come back next week.